With All Due Respect

So this is one of my least favorite phrases, and ultimately, it has nothing to do with the words themselves or the way they’re put together, it’s the way that this phrase is commonly used that irks me to no end. Usually, this phrase is followed by something that is not terribly respectful.

“With all due respect, you’re an ignorant slut who has no idea what she’s talking about.”

And that makes sense, because this is a phrase you use right before you disagree with someone. And people commonly do not have a lot of respect for the people that they disagree with. So the key word here is “due”. With all DUE respect. So the idea of how much respect this person is due suddenly becomes very subjective. They may have a PhD, they may be very hardworking, they could be incredibly kind, but ultimately if you disagree with them, you’re not going to feel obligated to give them the respect they would ordinarily be due, because you yourself are now terribly biased as a result of your disagreement. Objectively, the receiver of your not-terribly-respectful comment is due so much more respect than you’re giving them, but what do you care? You disagree with them, remember?

Even more so than that, this phrase creates the opportunity for people to be extremely rude without really sounding as rude. In reality, you ARE being rude, and you’re using that stupid phrase, “With all due respect”, as a shield against confrontation with the person you’re attacking. It’s very junior high school bully, if you ask me. “OMG you’re such a faggot, LOL JK.” You know they mean it as an insult, but if you try to retaliate, they pull the, “Jeez, why are you overreacting, I said just kidding!”

So, all in all, don’t be a junior high school bully. Stop using this phrase.

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