10 Answers to 10 College Questions You Probably Don’t Have

Q: What are “activities fairs” really like?

A: The activities fair is a GIANT, CHAOTIC mass of people and booths and flyers. People shove flyers at you, and you feel obligated to take them, and you find maybe six things you’re actually interested in and you know you can only join half of them and they all invite you to pizza parties and then it’s over and you’re like… phew. Also about half the “clubs” at my freshman activities fair were Christian fellowships. The other half are service organizations. They lure you in with questions like, “Do you like giving back to your community?” “Do you like children?” “Do you want to improve yourself and your school?” Well, yes, but NO.


Q: Do I have to take the flyers?

A: I’ve been here a week and so far I’ve only refused two flyers. Out of, like, I’m really bad at this. But yeah, it is okay to refuse flyers.


Q: Do the showers get super busy?

A: Okay, so I live on a floor of like 100+ people, and there’s at least 50 girls, and yet… There’s always a shower open. I have gone to the showers everywhere between 6:30 and 8:00 and they are never ever busy. How does that work!?!? I don’t know. Maybe my entire floor are night showerers?? It’s very confusing to me, but also very convenient. Conversely, I feel like every other time I’m in the bathroom, at least one person is showering. I’ve come in at 3:00, 5 P.M., and there are people showering. Why do you shower in the middle of the afternoon!?!? College showers will never make sense to me.


Q: What happens if you accidentally flash your roommate while you’re changing?

A: I mean, probably try not to do this. If you’re a girl and you’re a morning showerer, it’s pretty easy to put today’s bra and panties in each of your bathrobe pockets and then put them on when you’re done showering and drying off. (I would assume this isn’t much different for guys, just minus the bra part… unless you’re into that.) If by “flashing” you didn’t actually mean “accidentally exposing my entire boob and/or crotchal region”, then your definition of “naked” is probably “in a bra and panties”. I would advise you to revise your definition of naked. Cause this is college. I mean, I was in show choir, so I’ve seen like a hundred boys in just their boxers, I’ve helped girls change their bras, I’ve located people’s missing pants and lost some pants myself. I mean, I’ve changed in public. In front of a school. So I’m very “no shame”. But yeah, you’re gonna forget to close the curtains and a shirtless guy is gonna see you in just your underthings. This is pretty normal, and it doesn’t mean anything. So, yeah, just get used to it.


Q: Is it weird to walk down the hallway in just a bathrobe and no makeup on?

A: It’s only weird if you make it weird. Strut, bitch.


Q: Is everybody impeccably dressed in college?

A: No. I’m pretty sure even at Harvard there are some people in yoga pants, some people in jeans and t-shirts, and those obnoxious people who wear blazers everywhere they go.


Q: Does everybody wear pajama pants to class?

A: DON’T WEAR PAJAMA PANTS TO CLASS. I mean, you can, but let’s try and keep our dignity, people. I know they’re comfortable, but just… Pants. Wear pants. Also, skirts are comfy too! And nobody has to know that the only reason you wore a dress and tights was because you didn’t want to put on pants but you haven’t shaved your legs in a week.


Q: If you eat lunch by yourself, are you a loser?

A: Okay, this is something that’s very different from high school to college. You can walk around by yourself in college, and nobody will think it’s weird. Maybe you could do this in high school too, but I felt like I couldn’t without people staring at me and being like, “Oh, she has no friends!” In college, everybody is going somewhere, everyone’s busy, you’re not going to know most of the people anyway, cause there’s like thousands of them. I will say that eating in the dining halls by myself is still really scary. Cause they’re always crowded full of groups of people and I’m legitimately not sure if I’ve ever seen someone eating by themselves. Maybe they just sit down with people they don’t know and start talking to them? I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out yet. But at least at my school, there are grab-and-go options. You can swipe your card and get soup or a sandwich or a personal pizza, and pretend you’re just too busy with important college things to sit down and eat, even if in reality you’re gonna take it back to your dorm to eat while you marathon Sherlock.


Q: Do I have to study in my dorm?

A: NO! Go study in the library, or the other library, or your department’s lounge, or your floor’s lounge, or some other floor’s lounge! I know it’s college, and you’re here to work, but it’s okay to get a little social while you’re studying. Don’t just sit in your dorm and mope around and annotate. That’s boring!


Q: Is college fun?

A: Going to college is really just part of living your life. If you make friends and go to club meetings and talk to fun, interesting people and do fun things with those people, it’s gonna be fun! Also, classes are way more interesting in college. And if they aren’t interesting to you, you’re probably going to call them “hard”, in which case you can bitch about them with people who also have classes they don’t like, which, it turns out, is fun. I haven’t been to any real “college parties” yet, but all the cool kids on my floor did watch Pitch Perfect together in the lounge, which was really fun, cause we all got to nerd out and bond over this awesome movie, and also play the How Many People Can We Fit on This Couch Game, which just makes you all instant friends. Moral of the story, talk to people. If you’re eavesdropping and you want to add something to the conversation you’re not actually in, go ahead and say it! If you have a question, go ahead and ask it! Get used to talking to people you don’t know cause, guess what, that’s ALL the people!

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